Very recently we had some visitors from abroad and I wanted to share this little piece of advice with them and all who will be visiting in future:
Bringing out the best in people is something that has be worked on, carefully devised and continuously tweaked for optimal results. The contrary is also true, bringing out the worst in people that you are in contact with leaves a feeling of negativity and darkness that is not easily overcome.
Being part of a series of small interactions, it’s only when we can stand outside of the situation that we can truly evaluate the impact that it had on our actions, emotions and reactions at the time that the events occurred and how it still impacts our actions and thoughts after all is said and done. The most important aspect that I would like to take away from this experience is how to better prepare myself for future interactions, ensure that relationships did not suffer irreparably as a result and what insights can be gained.
We recently had a visitor from our country of origin come over for the wedding of my brother. She is a family member and from previous experience (my own wedding) I was aware that unfortunately there are a lot of unresolved issues that come with the visit. Jealousy, being unkind, unthankful and mean, these are such harsh adjectives to utter and seeing them typed just makes my heart sink.
When moving to a new country with the little that we had we strived for success to work hard, contribute to society and truly make a difference in this new land that took us in under its wing. Canada was at first a great novelty, but after a few winters and some decent humidity, we are truly Canadian with NHL blood and excitement on Victoria Day. We value our country as a family member who graciously opened its doors to us from the storm and offered us a home to stay.
Giving back to our generous host, we have since purchased houses, obtained degrees, voted and are currently in the process of creating the first little Canadian to ensure that this great country stays bountiful, strong and free. With a great sense of pride for what we have created in our homeland, we as a family grew very close. We rely on each other for support, guidance and optimism. We take care of each other’s needs and thanks to the help of our friendly Canadian spouses and friends; our team grows stronger every day.
Whenever a person from our past reenters our lives, there is a sense of recollection of what use to be. Positively we acknowledge that our past are part of who we are, however there has been a fundamental shift in the way in which we perceive our relatives and friends who come to visit. We are Canadian and would love nothing more for them to share in the great lives that we have worked so hard to obtain.
I ask then, respect who we are, respect that we open our doors to you, as Canada has done for us. Speak English or French as this our language. Do not let negativity be the glasses that you put on to see our lives and our actions. Enjoy the fact that you are on vacation and that we go out of our way to accommodate and share our lives with you. Thank us for making stuffing, gravy and roast beef… thank you for the Canadian beer and ice cream and that we ensure that your trip is a remarkable one. Be polite and help clean up, it’s the Canadian way. Take off your shoes before you enter our houses and close the door so that the heat or air conditioning can stay in the house.
When we make a special trip to a small town to ensure that you have enough Maple Syrup to take home, thank us for sharing our knowledge and filling up our cars, even if we complain about recent gas prices.
Respect and common decency is the Canadian way, it’s our family way. We do not tolerate negativity or judgmental attitudes. If the tattoo’s on the lady sitting next to us makes you judge her as a person, then an insight in personal expression and the old saying of “not judging a book by its cover” comes to mind.
In closing, I propose this: our houses and hearts are always open, if you so much as try to break the bond between us and our country, our loved ones and our family, you might find yourself standing on a the very edge of your own decisions and attitudes, alone. We give freely, we live passionately and we work with loyalty and conviction. Thank you is a small but most powerful word. Negativity, a false sense of being better than others and trying to divide such a strong bond between people are not welcomed.
Focus on who you are as a person and pack that in your suitcase. Make sure your passport is full of great stories that happened to you or that you heard about, share insights into the joyous occasions; pack your shoes that will walk the extra mile for others, your sweaters of comfort and generosity… and above all, put on your sunglasses of positivity, gratefulness and humility for the Canadian sun shines bright in the True North.
